downdate. for the STALKERS. its time for a feedin.

okay, i was half joking about the stalkers line. because, hey- you all know where I live aka my URL. and when its the best time to kill me (whenever it says im available).

 :chiillss:

and if your half awake, you know that its true. Everyday, people are getting stalked online and are even harassed, but we wont bore you with all that urban myth stuff.. well just leave that to the 10o’clock news, to scare you.

Food for Thought: (get you popcorn chips ready.)

Death. I’ve seen it, felt it, and experienced it. I know everyone has had their share of this tragedy, one way or another, in fact, sooner than later, but boy that just doesn’t help the pain go away. In the past year, I have lost two very close people to me whom I may never remind myself to forget. And its not something that gets easier everytime, either. In fact, I think it gets worse each and every time. I am not a psychiatrist, so no, I don’t know the answers, nor the proper steps of dealing with this, because perhaps I still haven’t taken the first step. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I cant face the fact that they are stripped away from me, forever.. till Heaven gets here that is. If there is even a place that wonderful, that exists. Well hey- that’s a risk on its own. But, something tells me, that maybe that is the answer, that people do stay with you and live in your hearts forever. Always, and remembered. Stored in our memory card, till death do us apart.

Love. Its not really on my side right now, or maybe ever. Please, Bartender, pour me another drink and hand me another set of cards.

Friends. School and Boyfriends have consumed them. Darn.

Work. Someone please hand me my award, I’ve passed 5 months. Why I do think this whole commitment thing is working.

Not.

Long distance. Out of sight, out of mind, Yay or Nay?

Family. Were getting along better than ever. No one has spoken to each other since Christmas.

School. It use to be a ride on the clouds. Till I realized the word school, apparently includes the letter C.

Hmm, lets think is there anything else?

Ahh yes. The wonderful world of Grey’s Anatomy. Watch it. And get inspired to be a surgeon. Id only go to med school to have that sorta drama. I miss highschool and its never ending drama days, now I wake up to coffee and live the “adult” world of working and school. And not having fun when youre at a club coz youre so use to sleeping at 10pm and waking up at 6am.

Ahh. Smell that? Yes it’s the scent of defeat. Or is that a cigarette?

live obliviously..

.. or choose to know,

i wonder what you lack, that causes him to look back.

brazillian underwear.

 u like faces. heres one for you.

do i need to say more?

perhaps, when you truly love a person.. you never can fully get over them. that whole thing that girls say..

"i love you, but im not in love with you.." is true. youll always cherish the memories of course. and if there was a surgical procedure that could take away all the pain and hurt.. and leave only the fun trips and special holidays like valentines day. behind

 .. you two would probably still be together.

and even if a couple can manage the forgive-ness.. can you really forgive & forget?

if only surgical procedures could fix everything.

and in the end, [or the intermission ] you two arent together, maybe it just means you guys are meant to be with other people.. but no it doesnt mean that the love wasnt there.

i dont think time has any say on love. it could be 4 years. or 4 days. in the hands of love, i dont think time plays a part-

and if you give your heart away to too many people, will you ever be left with nothing? it hurts when you cant even talk to someone you were bestfriends with for quite some time, only because their boyfriend or girlfriend wont let you. people arent in ur future for a reason. but they were in ur past for a bigger reason.

to make you who u are today.

theres things that are left unsaid. things that werent done. closed doors that arent fully closed. ghosts that arent fully dead. and at the end of the day. at the end of my life, i have to let you know..

that i still love you.

i think right now, all that matters is that we tried. and although i dont remember all the details.. theres a few that stick out.. crying in each others arms, in front of your dad because we wanted to be together so bad.. laying on the driveway with hot chocolate to look at the stars.. funny moments like getting gum *everywhere. special moments like popping balloons. and conffetti.

call me blunt. call me whatever u want. but either way, i need to get these feelings out. im not asking for eprops or comments nor the time of your precious day..

all i ask for is just that you dont forget.

no not me, but them. i think after that one mistake, God punished us. at least me.. i wont let you in my head about that one.

coz that clearly calls for another entry. an entry that will never be published. seen or written, for that matter-

ariane 3:16 " id touch your hand if could, not to say i want you. but to let you know i still love you."

for the past. for the present. and no, not for the future.

but i could go for a stoag. sorry for interrupting your harmony.. i didnt mean to splash your sooth sailing water. its sorta like a nightmare. a recurring nightmare. that is.

sorry. i am. but im here and theres nothing  you can do or say to change that. or to hide that fact. either-

but nonetheless. i hope you heard what i didnt say.

Oo GQxC hAr LiE: i love you so much baby
Oo GQxC hAr LiE: its not even funny
Oo GQxC hAr LiE: these words cant even express the way i love youOo

GQxC hAr LiE: I LOVE YOU :-*
mmmp ina ycolada: BABBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
mmmp ina ycolada: AW maaannn

»»» what more can i say?